How to Make Every Other Girl's Boobs Look Boring.

Yep, I've finally hand-bejeweled my very own bra, and it only took 2 nights and about half an eighth. I've got to say I'm quite pleased with myself, there is definitely nothing out there like this unless you're willing to drop a pretty big chunk of change. I ended up gluing a design in the center between the two cups as well, but this is a general idea of the end product. If you want your own bedazzled boobies then I can show you what I did and you can figure the rest else for yourself.

So obviously, you need a bra to start off with. I wanted a black background behind the jewels so I

bought this black demi from Target. You don't have to get a new one, you can just use any old

one if you wanna save cash, but all my black bras were too meshy or too lacy to use.

I just went down that aisle in Michael's with all the rhinestones and grabbed anything I liked. I tried to go for a variety of colors and shapes, and yes I bought more than you can see in the picture. I just took out all the doubles and triples so you could get an idea of the variety.

I used a glue by Loctite that the guy from Home Depot recommended to me. I was about two seconds from just buying Gorilla Glue when I saw this shit. I'm so glad I did because this stuff has awesome hold, but is still really flexible, which is good considering there is going to be some

substantial movement when this bra is actually worn.

I started by lining the outer edges of the band with these square shaped crystals (see below) in white to give

the bra somewhat of a border.

Surprisingly, I actually did start off with a general pattern despite how chaotic the end result

looks. I placed the larger jewels in diagonal lines and then tried to place the few shapes around and in between to look random. Then I basically just worked my way with smaller and smaller jewels until the gaps were filled.

Don't ask why I decided to do one cup at a time, I guess it would have just gotten way too

repetitive.

It took me the entire first night to do about 3/4 of the first cup and then the second night I had more of a hang on my technique which made me finish the rest up in less time. I recommend using a pair of jewelry tweezers (or a cosmetic pair you don't care about getting glue on) and squeezing a drop large enough to expand only slightly larger than the bottom of the gem when pressed into the bra. You want the glue to expand out slightly because it will ensure the jewels are secured on not only by their foil backing, but the actual plastic as well. If you don't, then the plastic will eventually fall of and all that will remain is the foil. Trust me. Other than that, good luck and enjoy your blinged boobs. ;)

Whatever Happened to My Transylvania Twist?

Halloween is almost here! And if you're like me you'd NEVER buy a store-bought costume. It just simply kills the fun! My favorite costume had to be the paper-mache (it wont let me put the accent over the e) ladybug I made all by myself is 4th grade. Yeah, I went through a weird ladybug phase. But that's not the point! The point is, during Halloween, I like to go balls to the wall, so to speak. Go big or go home. This year my costume of choice is:

Katy Perry in her lollipop bra! I have a secret fetish for Katy Perry like none other. People call her music shit, and say she's a poser, but I think she fucking kicks ass! I mean, sure she's not the next Janis Joplin but who the fuck cares? She's not trying to act like her music is serious shit anyway. And OH MY GOD her clothes kick ass. I think she is how I would dress if I was filthy rich and that gorgeous.

Now the thing about dressing up like famous people is that you kinda have to be spot-on when copying them or no ones gonna know who the hell you're supposed to be. This was basically my process:

1. Boobs: I was really adamant about finding a pink bustier that was cropped like the one Katy is wearing but alas I have found no such luck. I wasn't so picky about the glitter, but I wanted the cut to look similar. I found one that was close enough at Hollywood Mirror on Belmont and Halsted with pink satin underneath black lace. I then proceeded to CAREFULLY cut the top layer of lace off with a seam ripper and a pair of tiny barber scissors. This should suffice so far but I will literally keep my eyes out for that perfect bustier until the 31st.

2. Booty: The shorts were just about as hard to find as the bra was, but fortunately these were a little easier to improvise with. I was disappointed with the lack of colors The Disco Short came in at my local American Apparel so I compromised with this High Waist Hotshort that came in a bunch of colors, including bright blue. I took this pair and basically annihilated it with Tulip's Fabric Glitter Spray in silver. Now this stuff is said to be permanent, but one night is all I need.

3. Face: For my eyes I'll use an old favorite of mine, Maybelline Eye Studio Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner in black of course. This shit won't budge, I promise you that. I've slept in it before and woken up with perfect eyes. Then I'll top it off with some fake eyelashes and call it a day. For my lips I will use Buxom Big & Healthy Lip Stick in Las Vegas. I highly recommend this lipstick as well, it's super comfortable and super opaque. I'll probably end up putting some glitter on my face as well since I'm going to a concert that night.

4. The Rest: I know you can kind of see that Katy is wearing flesh-colored fishnets but considering how cold it already is here in Chicago that might not be a possibility. I'm probably going to opt for some thick, dancing tights in a flesh tone. The lollipops are a no brainer, but I have some 3M tape to stick them to my bra cups with to ensure that they aint goin nowhere. I found a giant candy cane lying around in a closet over here, which is perfect because if you actually watch her performance she carries one.

. . .

And that was how I got my shit together for the best holiday ever! I'm going to be going to the Bassnectar concert at the Aragon on that Saturday night and will head off to a friend's party afterward. If you're going to Bassnectar too, look out for this costume!