Where the Drinks are Hotter Than the Chili Sauce, and the Boss is a Cat Named Joe

No, unfortunately I did not spend my weekend in a honky tonk down in Mexico. I did have tons of fun though when I trucked on down to Indiana University for an early V-Day visit to ma boi.

Over the course of the weekend, I came to three conclusions: 1. Valentine's Day is NOT a big deal. 2. Guys in bands are hot. 3. If you're going to hide from everyone you know, don't black out in your hiding spot.

Why did I decide that Valentines Day isn't a big deal after all? Because the only people

that really want it to be special are the ones that don't have a Valentine that particular year. Sure, I've spent years without one before. But on the years I've had a Valentine, it's the same shebang every time. Theres a date, or maybe a gift exchange, or both. Usually theres some lingerie involved, and more than usually you get laid. But stuff like that usually happens to people throughout the other 364 days of the year too! But we never appreciate when it happens spontaneously. We only seem to appreciate that shit on the days that we are expected to.

How did I determine that guys in bands are hot? Well, lets see. It's a commonly known thing that girls will find a guy in a band to be attractive for that sole reason. Sure there are exceptions, but even super ugly guys will find girls swooning over them if they're in a band (cough

Gerhard Way cough). On Friday I went to a party that was kind of a show as well. It was a house party with a few bands scheduled to play in the basement. The lead singer of one of the bands is ridiculously gorgeous even before you find out he plays guitar and sings. Sure, my boy gives me shit for how I apparently get "calf eyed" around this guy whenever I see him. But theres no harm in looking, is there? While I deny I have calf eyes for this guy to my boy's face, a lot of it is true. I would never try anything with this guy, he has a girlfriend who I've met before and get along with, but it is incredibly hard not to find him extremely attractive. At the show, as soon as he came on stage, all these girls rushed toward the front and got pretty into what his band was playing. He even covered "Down in Mexico" by the Coasters and finished off with "The Weigh

t" by the Band. So, not only was his band awesome but he covered two of my favorite songs. Sorry all you non-band guys out there, but its true. Guys who play music are sexy.

After the show, I stumbled back to my boy's house and he and his roommates decided to have people over. I've got to say, I felt like I had the tolerance of a fucking brown bear that night because I pounded shot after shot and shotgunned shitty beers without feeling the slightest bit sick. I did however, feel completely obliterated as 1am started to roll around. For some reason, I was embarrassed of this and decided to hide somewhere where I could get a little un-fucked-up without people giving me shit for pooping out so early. I decided a closet was a good spot and proceeded to pass out before I even knew it. Next thing I know, I get plopped on my boy's bed and I'm being lectured for making everyone worry about where I was. I couldn't really speak that well, yes I was that smashed, but I did manage to laugh a little at the absurdity of it all. He was nice enough to take my earrings out for me and let me black out again until 11am the next day. I NEVER sleep in that late. I'm pretty sure I was still drunk when I woke up too.

Over all, it was a super fun night but like I said, don't hide when you're about to black out. People will freak.

I had tons of fun this weekend, and I hope anyone who reads this did too. Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Why you gotta kill my buzz? (literally)

Recently, the State Liquor Authority placed a ban on FourLoko; a.k.a. the cheapest drunk ever next to 40s. Liquor stores are required to clear their inventory of said drink by December 10th.
Of course this pisses me off. People who are 21 (or people who have good fake ids) should be able to drink it for themselves and decide whether or not they want to continue drinking this shitty tasting malt beverage. Dennis Rosen, the liquor authority chairman says that "We have an obligation to keep products that are potentially hazardous off the shelves, and there is simply not enough research to show that these products are safe". Bullshit. The only research they've done to show that it isn't safe is overhearing college kids calling it "blackout in a can". It's a bit of an exaggeration, but leave it to the bureaucrats to take it oh so literally. What are you, my mom??? Alchohol is legal. Caffiene is legal. Irish coffee has been around for ages. Outlawing FourLoko won't stop me from pounding Jagerbombs. You're just being a douche but acting all high and mighty like you're a real humanitarian.
To be honest, I pretty much hate every flavor or FourLoko besides orange. But it really grinds my gears that we've been getting more and more freedoms stripped from us these past couple of years. Weed is one thing, I can buy that shit easily under the radar. But where are people gonna find clove cigarettes and FourLokos on the black market?
Just because government legislators think something is bad, doesn't mean that they should cut off everyone from it. If I was rich and classy I probably wouldn't touch FourLoko either, but I'm a broke-ass college student looking for something that will keep me buzzed for hours that wont burn a hole in my wallet. But of course idiots like Senator Charles Schumer say shit like "These drinks are spreading like a plague across the country and you need to do everything you can to protect the children". Senator Schumer can go fuck himself for all I care. This has nothing to do with children. This has to do with people who are legally allowed to buy alchohol, and people who paid enough money for a good fake id (who deserve to buy alchohol considering how expensive this holograph/blacklight technology is getting).
This is Amuurika dammit! Let me abuse my body how I want!