Facebook is the Ultimate Ass-Kissing Device.

The picture above is a an actual story that popped up on my feed. While I've sort of been noticing more and more that people have been using Facebook to fish for/shower other people with compliments, this just threw me over the edge. And what do I do when I want to complain about something that no one cares about? Take to this shitty blog. You're welcome.
I really hate taking Facebook seriously. In fact, I know I've mentioned deleting (sorry, "deactivating") my account on here before, but anyone I know that's deactivated it like a "badass" always ends up reactivating. And if I'm gonna get rid of mine, it's gonna be fo life. The main thing that's still kept me on Facebook is the fact that I just don't want to part with all my photos. Many of the photos I have posted don't even exist on my current computer (thank you Windows and all your shitty viruses). And I suppose I could go back and literally save each individual photo until they're all accounted for, but not only would that take hours, the new Facebook doesn't even allow you to right-click/save without giving you a bunch of other computer-clogging shit that you don't need. Go try it for yourself and see. I'll wait.
Tangent aside, I mainly just use Facebook to bust my friend's balls these days (because I'm a cyber bully like that) because it's too stupid to take seriously. So when I see that someone on my feed has a new photo and 12 people have commented on it saying "Oh em gee, you are so beautiful...You should be a model!!!" and the person who posted it is like, "Oh my god guys you are soooooo sweet!!! I have the best friends evaaarr :)" It really takes every fiber of my self-control not to write something sarcastic and quite possibly offensive to the more sensitive Facebooker.
The worst is when I'll post a comment to one of my friends jokingly making fun of them and another one of their friends will comment on it in their defense, as if I actually felt that way. For instance, I'll call my friend a nasty-ass-ho because for me, that's a term of great endearment, (by the way, the more I write this the more I'm considering that I'm actually the one with the problem) and someone else will write, "That's not true! She is smart, beautiful, and only gives it out to real men! Love ya girrrrrl ;) " This not only pisses me off because the fact that whoever wrote this is a dumbass, it pisses me off because now I look like a real asshole to the other dumbasses who spend hours on Facebook giving each other the much-needed affirmation that they clearly don't receive in real life.
Okay, so I may be acting like a total bitch here. I guess I'm just not the warm, fuzzy Facebooker that seems to have taken over the time-wasting-website as of late. Maybe I'm just jealous that I don't post enough pictures of myself and my life to have a constant stream of ass-kissing notifications every day. Probably not though. Facebook sucks, and the people who take it seriously are making me hate the human race. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Thoughts on...People taking FB wayyyy too seriously.

Facebook is really fucking lame when you think about it. Especially now that it's on every one's phone. I do not own a smartphone, nor do I want to because it will only increase my temptation to waste my time on the sheer and udder faggotry that is Facebook. I honestly feel like deleting mine once and for all, and very well might after finishing this post.

Here is a list of some of the things I find to be appallingly pathetic to do on Facebook:

1. Listing who you are "in a relationship" with, aka "Facebook official"

2. Writing about your heartbreak or relationship woes in your statuses.

3. Writing about your emotional baggage in general in your statuses.

4. Sending psychotic and verbally abusive messages to people you hate.

5. Changing your profile picture every 2 days.

6. "Liking"

7. Deleting people because you got in a fight.

8. Going on Facebook in general

Ok, I might be guilty of number 8, but I stand strongly against the other 7. Facebook isn't supposed to be a serious thing, and it's a huge joke to bring your personal life online like that. I've seen people's moms bitch out their ex-boyfriends via status comments, psychotic cyberbullies make fake profiles so they can stalk the people they prey on, and I've personally been the victim of many threatening and insulting messages. All the while I'm wondering, "Facebook, really?".

The reason I'm writing is because recently I've had a brush with my ex's current girlfriend. She happened to friend me on Facebook, and I suppose I accepted not really thinking much of it. Next thing I know, she's i.m.-ing me talking nonstop about her "baby" and how she thinks everyone is jealous of her. This is already an inappropriate conversation to have with your boyfriend's ex, but it gets worse. I started to get the feeling that she was implying that I was still coming onto him, but I tried to brush it off since that was obviously a ridiculous thing to think. A few days later I see that my ex has deleted me, and I'm guessing it's Miss Crazyface that did it, or at least told him to do so. So I check her Facebook, and sure enough, she's deleted me too.

I sat there for a moment thinking to myself, "is this a joke?" is anyone that pathetic that they'd try to hurt my feelings by deleting me as a friend on FACEBOOK? Motherfucking Facebook??? By this point, my ex is starting to look like a huge pussy. So I text him yesterday something to the effect of, "you de-friended me on facebook, burn..." and not surprisingly, i receive no response from him. However, she managed to send me her OWN response on you guessed it, Facebook:

"Yo, niglet. I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to the baby anymore. Kay thanks bye." And yes, she actually talks like that. She's white too. I suppose you could blame her insecurity, the fact that my ex may very well still have eyes for me, or the fact that she's still in high school and still thinks that acting like an immature twat is acceptable. I responded with something to the effect of, "Please don't talk to me again, I don't want to be dragged into your pathetic high school drama. I won't say anything to you anymore, but if you fuck with me again I'll kick your ass". Which is pretty much what happens when chicks try to mess.

I've been through high school once, and I have no desire to do it again. And that's really what Facebook is like. It's like high school online. Bottom line, fuck Facebook. It's a frontier for psychotic, jealous, insecure bitches, like the one I mentioned above, to feel like they actually have some power in their lame-ass lives. I'm not saying we all have to delete our Facebook accounts, (although we probably should) but if it seems like you're taking this shit too seriously, maybe you need to take a step back and see how pathetic you look. Besides, when is the last time Facebook did anything for you?