That Time I Pulled an Emma Watson

A couple days ago, I got to be a hair model for the Vidal Sassoon in Chicago. The photo above is a doodle of the haircut I was given; the classic Five Point cut created by Vidal in the 60s. It's a geometric cut that revolutionized the way hairdressers looked at shaping hair. I would take a picture of my own hair, but I don't feel like taking a photo in this shitty apartment within an arms-length of my head would really do this haircut proper justice.

The greatest part about the whole thing? I got Mark Hayes to cut my hair. Mark Hayes, the international creative director at Vidal Sassoon (in London bitches!) cut my hair not only for free, but paid me to let him do it! He was so charming and really a brilliant hairdresser.

I'm so glad I finally got my hair cut short too. I've been wanting to for the longest time, but I wasn't sure exactly what style I wanted and I wasn't sure where to go to get it done. But this was the push I needed. I've got to say, I absolutely love it. Vidal's "wash and wear" philosophy definitely applies here. I haven't had to take a blow dryer to my hair once since I've had this hair cut, it really styles itself. You might think that this kind of cut isn't very wearable outside of a runway, but I've figured out a few ways to style it that make it much more every day.

Here's how I'm wearing it tonight:
It's kind of fun slicking it back like that, it makes me feel like a boy. Is that weird?

Cabin Fever

So I've FINALLY found a new pot connect and let me tell you, this past week has been spectacular. Try quitting for a while and see how stoned you get, I'm serious. It's ridiculous. And wonderful considering there's becoming less and less to do as the days get shorter and the nights grow colder.

In other news...

I've been watching this anime show called High School of the Dead (based off the manga/comic book series of the same name), and I must say it's the most entertaining thing I've discovered in a while.

It's very melodramatic, and the girls are drawn like absurd sex machines, and it's sometimes poorly translated, and there's a rapey teacher character that everyone seems to be unfazed by (pretty much the same as any other adult anime show) but once you get past all the cheesiness and gratuitous crotch shots you've got yourself a pretty badass show.

The fantastic thing about animated horror is that you have no limits to set your effects to due to budgeting and technology. And I love how the illustrator will set up such grotesque zombie interactions against the serene and absolutely beautiful backdrop of the city they live in.

If you're in the mood for something a little shitty and weird, I say go for this show. Definitely worth a few laughs if nothing more. Not to mention, if you have Netflix, it's on instant-watch bitches!!!

Okay okay okay there's one more thing. Now I definitely could write a separate review about this, it's definitely deserving of one, but since I'm lazy and there on a slightly-related topic I figured I'd just put both of these recommendations in one post:

Dead Space: Downfall is a movie (also anime) based off the video game series(although technically it's considered the prequel to the first video game). It doesn't have all the stupid sexual innuendos than High School of the Dead, has way more action and suspense, and is just about 99 times better than the show above, but like I said, I was too lazy to make a separate recommendation.

Oh, one more thing. I was asked to model for another hair show and the model call is in like an hour, so I'm going to check it out and provided I'm not getting micro bangs, I think I'm gonna go for it. It's extra cash for the holidays, right?

Yikes...

Has it really been two whole months since my last post? This is outrageous. I've been so fucking busy trying to find a different job, plus working at my current job, plus that whole school thing too.

I've got plenty of updates in the next few days, but right now I can leave you with this:




And I am furious to say I missed this show because I was vomming all night. WOOOO food poisoning.

Book Review!!!!

I finished this little gem by Emma Donoghue a couple days ago and I've got to say I loved it. A friend of mine gave it to me after she finished it, and just having read the intro on the back I knew I wouldn't be able to put it down. Not to many books suck me in right off the bat but this was great.
It's told from the perspective of five year old Jack, a boy who has lived his entire life confined in a 11 by 11-foot cell with his mother. To him, room is the entire world, it is all he has ever known. But to his mother, it is the chamber that she has been held captive for the past seven years, her own personal hell. Every night his mother shuts him away in Wardrobe where he is to remain while the ominous figure known as "Old Nick" comes to visit her.
Since it's told from the perspective of an incredibly naive 5-year-old, the book starts off as somewhat of a mystery that begins to unfold as Jack learns more and more about the reality of his situation.
I kind of found it a bit annoying following the story at first just because it was narrated the way a 5-year-old would actually talk, although you'll come to find that Jack is exceptionally intelligent for his age. However, I got used to the way he talked and quickly stopped noticing it entirely.
This book is similar to the real-life Fritzl case in Amstetten, Austria. Over all, I highly reccomend reading it if you are looking for a bit of new fiction to make your morning commute pass by much more quickly, or just something to keep you up at night until you finish every last page. I haven't read any other of Emma Donoghue's books but I'm certainly looking into them after finishing this.

the bed is empty and i feel crazy

Get More: MTV Supervideo, Music, Best Coast

I've been listening to Best Coast a lot lately. The songs on this album all kind of sound the same, but it's just a nice summery surf/pop band. They go great with this time of year, and I'm sure they'll make me yearn for this when I'm ass-deep in snow in a few months.

It's been a while since I've posted something remotely interesting. Mainly because summer gets so fucking repetitive. What did I do today? I worked. Then what did I do? Smoked. Ate. Watched TV. Maybe some yoga? Maybe I went out and drank with my friends. Maybe I did something outside. I probably cooked something for myself. Or went out to eat. But in all likelihood, I did all of those things. Just like the day before, and the day before that.

I've come to realize I don't really like the extreme seasons very much at all, I prefer the seasons of transition. Not just because of the mild weather but because no matter what, life always feels new and different in those seasons. I don't understand how everyone in those hot states can put up with this monotonous weather all year long. I would probably grow deeply, deeply depressed and lonely and sick of everything in my life.

So I don't think I've made it clear enough, but I'm excited for fall. I wanna go back to school, and be busy with fun stuff to do on weekends and great shows and starting my junior year and buying new clothes and learning to play this accordion I've acquired. Maybe try to style my hair like that chick above.

Hoped you enjoyed the video. Talk to you soon. Hopefully.

Summer Rage Part 2

Hey. I'm back. It's amazing the difference a few days can make. Yes, the shit is still continuously hitting a fan with no off-switch, but I am getting to the point where it just doesn't matter anymore. I suppose I shouldn't leave you hanging though (because so many people are just dying to pry into my personal life I'm sure) so here is part two:

So he's still acting like a dramatic yo-yo of emotion, and probably will continue to act this way for a while. Just got re-friended on facebook by him again, not surprised in the least. I wrote him a letter (speaking out loud isn't my forte) and I'm about to send it as soon as I finish this post. I basically told him that he's acting like he cares a lot more that he does, or should. Also, that if he continues to act like a soap opera star I won't be continuing to communicate with him. If that pisses him off he can suck it I guess, I'm really done feeling bad about this. I would have felt way worse if he wasn't such a shithead these past couple of weeks. But as it is, I don't see myself giving a shit for a while.

Amazingly enough, something good came out of this too. New man-friend, whatever you wanna call it. He's totally adorable (albeit skinny), plays like 7 different instruments and is ridiculous in the sack. Not to mention he's funny as hell (a must in my book) and somehow manages to treat me like a princess but respect me and treat me like a real human being all at the same time. He kind of just kicks ass in every way possible. I was kind of scared at first cause I didn't want him to start liking me as anything more than a hookup. Too bad I started liking him too. Even though we are more than a strictly sexual relationship, we're both totally on the same page as far as keeping this thing we have un-complicated. No drama, no jealousy, no bitchy texts, no drunk dials, no worrying about "what we are" or whatever bullshit people like to use to fuck up their relationships.

We went to six flags the other day with one of my main bitches from high school and her new man-friend and it couldn't have been more fun. At one point a group of guys started hitting on me and instead of being an annoying jealous guy about it he just smiled at me and ignored it. How refreshing right? I'm also pretty sure he's the first guy I've been with that my friends also think is cute. As if he didn't kick enough ass.

I'm gushing like a total loser right now but it feels good to be more positive at the end of a long, hate-filled rant. I'm gonna go back to writing my normal shit in a few days, I promise. I've just had a lot on my plate lately (these past two posts have barely scratched the surface) and once my affairs are in order I will be back with vengeance. See ya soon? Hello? Anybody?

Summer Rage Part 1

Remember in my last post when I said that I hadn't been writing lately because I was in too good of a mood to really bitch or complain about anything on here? Yeah, well it's your lucky day. Because the past few weeks have been a motherfucking roller coaster ride of drama and it's becoming unbearable.

Where do I start off? Oh, my phone broke. And I don't mean it got dropped or I spilled water on it or something. I just mean it doesn't do anything it's supposed to. It can't call, won't send texts, and it only gets Internet when I'm in a hot spot. I suppose it makes a pretty nice calculator. As well as a solitaire playing device. I suppose it can still be used as a pretty mediocre flashlight too. However, when it comes to doing it's actual fucking job, it chugs dick.

Lets see, what else... Oh right, my ex boyfriend is being a total fucking drama queen for hooking up with his friend. Yeah I know it wasn't the most considerate move on my part, I'll be the first to say that. But this is how it is: First off, we have been broken up for a whole year. Second off, HE was the one who broke up with ME. Third? He had been acting like a bag of douche for like a month leading up to this incident, so I wasn't exactly feeling overly empathetic towards him. Now I understand that even after its been a while it's still kinda shitty to hook up with your exes friend. But is it the end of the fucking world? No. It's not. Not at all. Jackie and Hyde did it. Plenty of my friends have too, and guess what? They all fucking survived, ok? The way he is acting right now makes me feel like I'm living in an after-school special. He is being more dramatic than most of my female friends have EVER been.

What has he done, you ask? Well he's called me and verbally abused me to the point of tears on several occasions over the past two weeks. Including, but not limited to: Father's day when I was at my grandparents house, on my way to work, at breakfast with my parents, and while on the train. For each time he's called me and made me cry he has also called me again to apologize and say that he wasn't mad any more. He has also deleted me as a friend on facebook. Then re-friended me again. Then deleted me again. Oh, and almost every time I've seen him he's been belligerently drunk and has never failed to bring it up at an unbelievably hyperbolic volume. I honestly would rather him be pissed at me 100% of the time so I could finally stop having to guess which mood he's in.

This would have all been fine to deal with on it's own, I'm not a whiny, pussy-ass-bitch and it takes a lot to shake me. However, the night he found out his ass-goblin best friend decide to bitch me out in a series of repulsive and ridiculously incoherent texts. I can feel myself getting furious as I type this, but I feel the need to tell you exactly what he said so you can fully understand the caliber of douchebaggery I have been putting up with lately:

So this conversation starts off with a simple, "Fuck you" to which I respond with a flabbergasted Quoi??? I'm wondering where the fuck this is coming from, because he has never spoken to me like this before. He responds saying "You know what". Just like that. Then he goes, (and I swear on my life I am not fabricating this) "You know where the dongs been. Admit it now or prepare for the worst. We will take you in the street and fuck you, then fuck you up."

What really grinds my gears is that the guy who wrote all this is the same guy who has cheated on his girlfriend multiple times. As in, fucked his girlfriend and his ex within hours. The motherfucking audacity this kid has to shit on me for doing something that's not even close to the same caliber as what he did is enough to make me want to punch him in the chest. He then proceeded to call me a whore and a fat, cock hungry bitch. Can you fucking believe that? I wish I could blow pressurized air up his dick hole until his balls explode. This guy is such a motherfucking chotch I can't even stand it. If you could see him you'd agree with me. He's an ugly ass ginger (not that ALL gingers are ugly, but he definitely is) with a nasty ass girlfriend, but he thinks he's the shit because he has a joke job at his dad's firm (which he does jack shit at, as all his coworkers say) and dresses like a mother fucking Ralph Lauren model (if Ralph Lauren models were hideous).

Honestly though, even if all the above WASN'T true about him, what makes him think that he needs to get involved in my motherfucking business anyways?? Jesus fucking Christ. If I wasn't so loopy right now I feel like I would have thrown my laptop out the window by this point.

I honestly had a lot to bitch about today, but the size of this post is pretty intimidating. Pretty doubtful if anyone is even reading this anymore (if at all). Not only that, but this has been exhausting and I need to seize this beautiful day and stop locking myself up on my computer like an angry little hermit. Stay tuned for part two. Or don't. The fuck if I care.

Shitty Summer Photos

I've been MIA for a while again (not that anyone reads this piece of shit anyways). It's not that I've been to busy to write, it's just that I've been in too good of a mood and never felt the need to vent like I normally do when I write on here. Anyhow, here are some pictures I have taken so far this summer with my jank-ass camera.

Lightning
Bacon and Bleu

Storm Clouds

Alien Flower

Bulgogi

Baby Pinto Bean

Wine in a jar

John's Island

Ohhhh Michael's...

Tots

Deluxe Wash

Life in the woods

HAHHHHHH

Facebook is the Ultimate Ass-Kissing Device.

The picture above is a an actual story that popped up on my feed. While I've sort of been noticing more and more that people have been using Facebook to fish for/shower other people with compliments, this just threw me over the edge. And what do I do when I want to complain about something that no one cares about? Take to this shitty blog. You're welcome.
I really hate taking Facebook seriously. In fact, I know I've mentioned deleting (sorry, "deactivating") my account on here before, but anyone I know that's deactivated it like a "badass" always ends up reactivating. And if I'm gonna get rid of mine, it's gonna be fo life. The main thing that's still kept me on Facebook is the fact that I just don't want to part with all my photos. Many of the photos I have posted don't even exist on my current computer (thank you Windows and all your shitty viruses). And I suppose I could go back and literally save each individual photo until they're all accounted for, but not only would that take hours, the new Facebook doesn't even allow you to right-click/save without giving you a bunch of other computer-clogging shit that you don't need. Go try it for yourself and see. I'll wait.
Tangent aside, I mainly just use Facebook to bust my friend's balls these days (because I'm a cyber bully like that) because it's too stupid to take seriously. So when I see that someone on my feed has a new photo and 12 people have commented on it saying "Oh em gee, you are so beautiful...You should be a model!!!" and the person who posted it is like, "Oh my god guys you are soooooo sweet!!! I have the best friends evaaarr :)" It really takes every fiber of my self-control not to write something sarcastic and quite possibly offensive to the more sensitive Facebooker.
The worst is when I'll post a comment to one of my friends jokingly making fun of them and another one of their friends will comment on it in their defense, as if I actually felt that way. For instance, I'll call my friend a nasty-ass-ho because for me, that's a term of great endearment, (by the way, the more I write this the more I'm considering that I'm actually the one with the problem) and someone else will write, "That's not true! She is smart, beautiful, and only gives it out to real men! Love ya girrrrrl ;) " This not only pisses me off because the fact that whoever wrote this is a dumbass, it pisses me off because now I look like a real asshole to the other dumbasses who spend hours on Facebook giving each other the much-needed affirmation that they clearly don't receive in real life.
Okay, so I may be acting like a total bitch here. I guess I'm just not the warm, fuzzy Facebooker that seems to have taken over the time-wasting-website as of late. Maybe I'm just jealous that I don't post enough pictures of myself and my life to have a constant stream of ass-kissing notifications every day. Probably not though. Facebook sucks, and the people who take it seriously are making me hate the human race. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Would You Look at These Fucking Shorts.

I found these on sale and they were the last ones. My size. I think I just came.

Heres a closeup of the print:

Makin' all the other asses jealous since yesterday...

The Bees are Jumping and the Cotton is High

Finished off my finals yesterday. Can you say freedom? Except, oh yeah. There's that job thing I still have to do. So here's to slightly less responsibility!

How did I celebrate? My girl from Michigan came home and we hung out at the beach smoking a spliff and drinking this hard iced-tea I sort of made up the morning of. It wasn't a long island iced-tea, it only had vodka in it. But I thought about how much I love a good Arnold Palmer (half iced tea half lemonade) and sort of made it up as I went along. I boiled a big pot of black tea and when it was strong enough I decided to squeeze the juice from a lemon and add an equal amount of sugar to it. Instead of adding the water to the lemon and sugar, I figured the unsweetened tea would suffice as a pretty good diluting agent and just mixed it all together. I threw in the rind of the squeezed lemon, added enough vodka to give it a pretty strong boozy flavor to compliment the sweetness and then poured it all in a big old thermos. How summery, right? I should be a bartender.

Then we went down to her dad's condo, which is in the motherfucking Aqua Tower. Now when she said Aqua Tower, I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about but if you live in Chicago you've definitely seen it. It's that building with all the waves on the outside that are actually balconies: And needless to say, it was one sick bachelor pad. Did I mention it was on the 77th floor? The view was abso-fucking-lutely amazing. I could have cried. We drank her Dad's yummy beer and played pool and then hit the hot tub in our underwear. This creepy guy in the hot tub had no shame in staring straight towards my tits but whatever. I knew if he came near me I'd just smash my glass of wine on his face. After that we got dressed and went out and pulled some shenanigans till around 3am when we went back to her condo... And pretty much stayed up for another 3 hours drinking on the balcony with a couple of other guys (we knew them, OK?) we picked up during our drunken debauchery. Needless to say, we got pretty sloppy. My friend walked into a wall twice, hard. Oh, and she sat on an empty cooler and fell off that as well. It's ok, her face broke her fall pretty well. She even woke up the next day complaining of bumps on her head. Haha!

All that for a Wednesday night! Happy summer!

LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT!!

I Don't Sympathize, Cause You a Simple Bitch.

Do you ever go to a party where there's a group of girls you don't know, and throughout the entire night you're constantly catching them shooting you death-glares? I find this to be especially common at Frat parties. I chose not to go Greek before I even went to college, and I could ramble on for hours why, but it's really besides the point I'm trying to make. And while I chose not to join a sor-rawr-ity, my friends and I don't really have any trouble getting into frats when we ever decide to go. (Having a nice ass and tits never hurts) And while the guys there are always nice to us, I can never seem to escape the hateful glares that burn from the clusterfucks of sorority chicks across the room.

This sure as hell isn't the first time I've received this type of passive aggression from a chick, and while I usually retaliate by making awkward eye contact and a creepy smile, the line was fucking crossed last night.

While hovering one of the toilets in a stall with a shower curtain for a door, I heard a small group of chicks enter the bathroom. One says to another, "Do you think she can feel us judging her?" and the group proceeded to cackle like a cluster of hens.

This infuriated me at the time, because I just wanted to tear open that shitty shower curtain and scream at them, "Do you guys HONESTLY think anyone gives a shit about you besides yourselves???? Amazingly fucking enough, GDI chicks don't just sit around wishing they could be YOU all day!!" I knew they weren't even talking about me necessarily, I just couldn't believe how self-centered these girls could be.

But then it hit me. The whole reason these chicks are shooting girls like me death glares and making fun of us in the bathroom is because deep down, we make them feel threatened. We make them feel self-conscious, and we intimidate them. They try to rip us apart so they can feel better about themselves. I never sit around ripping on sorority girls with my friends, and you know why? Because they don't intimidate me in the slightest. They're merely a blip on my radar.

This doesn't just apply to sorority girls either, any jealous bitch who is hating on you really is just saying that she hates herself. And I don't mean to say that all sorority girls are catty bitches, I know plenty of girls that are Greek that are upstanding individuals. However, the majority of my experiences with them have been more like my story above.

Sometimes it's not always easy to remember that a girl who hates is a girl who hates herself. I'm an hugeeee fan on Nick Minaj because not only is she a bad bitch, but she doesn't give two shits about the girls who spend their time hating on her. She said in an interview, "When people see there is one person getting a lot of shine... it makes them feel unhappy with themselves. The small minded people feel unhappy with themselves. The intelligent girls just take the things they like from my journey and they apply it to their journey."

While Nicki may not be a very conventional role model, she inspires the fuck out of me not only creatively, but with her infallible confidence and powerful persona. Too many girls think that guys will only like them if they're docile and ultrafeminine, but there I go on rambling again. My point is, take everything a girl says when she's ripping on you with a grain of salt. Whatever she attacks you about, is really what she hates about herself.

So instead of stooping to their level and ripping open that shower curtain and tearing them a new one, I simply walked out and rinsed my hands as complete silence fell over the gaggle of girls. I gave each one of them a moment of eye contact and a smile and then breezed out of the room with a confident strut and went back to the party. Whether they laughed to themselves after I left or remained quiet doesn't matter. I am who I am and I will never feel like I have to live up to anyone's standards but my own.

Good God.

Make it stop.

Stop the world, I want to get off

I can not believe how quickly this year has gone by. I remember in September thinking how the weeks were dragging on but once October came it's been a nonstop roller coaster ride through life. And now I'm sitting here with two weeks left of school studying for finals. Is the rest of my life planning on flying by this fast?

I finished off my casework for Urban Soc by spending time at a crisis center for women who were victims of domestic abuse, child prostitution, trafficking, the list goes on. In the center, there is a room specifically designated for crying. It is completely unfurnished except for blue matting on the floor, reminiscent of my gymnastics days, but used for those who prefer punching out their frustrations. These women will go in there for as long as they need to and scream, sob, and bang their heads until they've exhausted themselves and feel like they have achieved some sort of release. While I find this rather upsetting to watch (it's not every day that you see a bunch of grown women sobbing like children), it is entirely necessary for their healing process.

Doing casework has really changed my outlook on life. The world is a pretty fucked-up place, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be ready to leave my perfect college bubble of keggers and theme parties in two fucking years.

Obviously I can't just bury my head in the ground and hope my problems go away, but is there a fucking pause button for life? Or at least a crying room for the rest of us?

Happy Holidaysssss

What a week.... 4/20, my birthday, and Easter rolled up into 5 days. I've been MIA for a while, mainly because juggling work and finals has been driving me to drink (a lot) during what little free time I actually have. Enjoy my combined theme of 420 and Easter picture. I worked very very hard (10 minutes tops) on it. How cute is that little stoner bunny??
Happy Holidaze Everyone! Talk to ya soon!

WHAT...the fuck.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has to put up with the absolute bullshit that amounts to Blogger's formatting.

I was looking through my "50 things I hate" post and saw that I made a miniscule typo. So I went to edit the post, literally changed two letters in a single word, and published it. Now the entire post is a complete mess, and I honestly don't even know where to begin in fixing it.

The post was laid out and numbered 1-50, but now instead of a long list it's one giant clusterfuck of a paragraph. I went back and pressed enter after numbers 1-50, but when I published, nothing changed.

This is not the first time I've wanted to punch my keyboard because of blogger. The line spacing issues are complete bullshit as well, and if I'm trying to post pictures, I won't be done fucking around with my post for a good hour.
I am seriously becoming miserable because of these formatting issues, and if this keeps happening, I'm so switching to Wordpress.

I have but one question...

Why the HELL didn't this shit show up in my life until now?

How to Make Every Other Girl's Boobs Look Boring.

Yep, I've finally hand-bejeweled my very own bra, and it only took 2 nights and about half an eighth. I've got to say I'm quite pleased with myself, there is definitely nothing out there like this unless you're willing to drop a pretty big chunk of change. I ended up gluing a design in the center between the two cups as well, but this is a general idea of the end product. If you want your own bedazzled boobies then I can show you what I did and you can figure the rest else for yourself.

So obviously, you need a bra to start off with. I wanted a black background behind the jewels so I

bought this black demi from Target. You don't have to get a new one, you can just use any old

one if you wanna save cash, but all my black bras were too meshy or too lacy to use.

I just went down that aisle in Michael's with all the rhinestones and grabbed anything I liked. I tried to go for a variety of colors and shapes, and yes I bought more than you can see in the picture. I just took out all the doubles and triples so you could get an idea of the variety.

I used a glue by Loctite that the guy from Home Depot recommended to me. I was about two seconds from just buying Gorilla Glue when I saw this shit. I'm so glad I did because this stuff has awesome hold, but is still really flexible, which is good considering there is going to be some

substantial movement when this bra is actually worn.

I started by lining the outer edges of the band with these square shaped crystals (see below) in white to give

the bra somewhat of a border.

Surprisingly, I actually did start off with a general pattern despite how chaotic the end result

looks. I placed the larger jewels in diagonal lines and then tried to place the few shapes around and in between to look random. Then I basically just worked my way with smaller and smaller jewels until the gaps were filled.

Don't ask why I decided to do one cup at a time, I guess it would have just gotten way too

repetitive.

It took me the entire first night to do about 3/4 of the first cup and then the second night I had more of a hang on my technique which made me finish the rest up in less time. I recommend using a pair of jewelry tweezers (or a cosmetic pair you don't care about getting glue on) and squeezing a drop large enough to expand only slightly larger than the bottom of the gem when pressed into the bra. You want the glue to expand out slightly because it will ensure the jewels are secured on not only by their foil backing, but the actual plastic as well. If you don't, then the plastic will eventually fall of and all that will remain is the foil. Trust me. Other than that, good luck and enjoy your blinged boobs. ;)

New Grinder.

It glows in the dark. Dope sauce.

Thoughts on... Deadgirl (2009)

This movie was released in 2009 or so, and I've always sort of heard about it from friends and seeing reviews posted on youtube and the like. Despite reading several reviews, ranging from the amazed to the outright offended, I still didn't know too much about the movie going into it.

If you're going to go look up the trailer after reading this, I'll let you know right now it doesn't really give you any details as to what the movie is really about.

Without going too far into detail, the basic plot of the movie revolves around two characters, JT and Rickie who ditch school one day to go drink and shoot the shit at an abandoned mental asylum. You know how there are some parts in movies when the viewer is like, how are they so at ease right now? Any normal person would think, "hm... abandoned mental asylum" and an instant red flag would have been drawn. But hey, it's a horror movie in the end, and horror movies will almost always leave the audience slapping their heads in frustration with the characters. Moving on, the two main characters find a door in the basement that is rusted shut, so they find a crowbar and pry it open, and this is where the their lives change forever.

I've read many unhappy reviews for this movie, the reviewers chalk it up to a shock-horror flick and nothing else. I've also read many rave reviews saying it was an incredibly cutting-edge, beautiful, philosophical film. I guess I feel somewhat in between of these two stances. I'll start with where I think this film went right:
The subject matter is highly controversial, but I wouldn't call this a shock-horror. I think the moral dilemma is the main theme of Rickie's journey throughout this film, and it depicts that for every time we indulge in our desires, there will be consequences. The editing is great, in my opinion, because I don't see too many horror movies that can truly scare you with the jump-cuts anymore. In addition to the editing, I think this film was also beautifully shot, and I loved the varying moods the cinematographer was able to capture depending on the scenes. I personally am not opposed to gore and violence in a horror film, and I think that this film truly made my skin crawl during some of the scenes. The soundtrack really did set the mood in a lot of the scenes, and while I think it's weak for a horror movie to rely entirely on it's soundtrack, I think this was a good balance. And we can't forget the Deadgirl herself, Jenny Spain. Her performance was beyond freaky and she had little to work with, spending almost the entire film in the same shot.
On to the bad part. Despite the fact that all the characters were supposed to be in high school, there was no way a single one of the actors was younger than 24. One of them even looked to be almost 30, and it's just kind of annoying when the director expects us to believe that these people are 16. I also may be the only one that noticed this, but it seemed like every time Rickie got hurt, he would split his lip and it would drip down his face. Like, how many times can you get hurt in the exact same place? It seemed like the makeup artist was just like, "I can do a good split lip?" every time. There aren't really a whole lot of complaints I can make without spoiling anything so I guess I'll end my spoiler-free review there. Below I'll be getting into the nitty gritty.
Here be spoilers: I think that people who are ultra-feminist and whatnot might consider this movie to be glorifying rape and violence against women, but that's not really the point. The basic moral dilemma is more of an issue of necrophilia, not that I'm saying that's any better. Deadgirl isn't really a girl at all, more of a monster. But what I think the film sort of digs into is what it truly means to be human. The characters are confronted with their desires, navigating their moral compasses, and begin to understand what happens when they falter. In this movie, sex and violence are more of a metaphor for all the evil in the world that we are seduced by as we enter adulthood. In the end, everyone sort of gets theirs, so to speak. It's a rather disturbing coming of age story, but one nonetheless. This movie will leave you feeling disturbed and offended. But I would give it props at least for giving a new twist on the overdone Zombie movie genre.
Over all, I'll give this movie a 7/10. Not too bad, but definitely not great.

People tell me slow my roll, I'm screaming out, FUCK THAT

I'm starting to believe that spring fever is in full effect over me. I just finished an 8 hour work shift and literally don't think I can remember anything remarkable happening to me all day. The only thing giving me motivation is excercise, but since my sinuses have been jam packed for the past four days, I haven't been able to do much of that either.
I know mid terms just ended and all, but theres definitely honey bunches of other shit I need to get done by the time summer rolls around. I need a new job, because the commute would be a bitch when living at home again and it simply doesn't pay THAT well. I need to tackle more financial issues with my school, because there seems to be an infinite amount of things I'm doing wrong for them. And I need to complete 8 more hours of casework with a crisis center in the middle of sketch-ass junkie-town.

The mere thought of handling these things is enough to make me want to crawl under my covers with a joint and a box of oreos. I know I'm not the only one like this either. Plenty of my friends have been telling me the exact same thing. Especially now that I've transferred to a huge school, there is literally no night out of the week where I couldn't go out and find somewhere to get wasted. I may have been able to work and party full time over the summer, but when it comes to being academically challenged, I simply can't keep doing this to myself.

I need a way to get sex and drinking off my mind for another month and a half. I need this for myself so badly, I just wish I could make school and work fun.

Do they have reform schools for adults?

Nails Done Did

Normally I just use a clear nail-treatment sort of polish on my hands. I don't really get manicures, I'd usually rather spend my money on a pedicure (it seems a little more necessary after all). However, with all the great nail strips at Sephora (and at the drug stores! I actually think the Sally Hansen ones work better and last longer than the expensive ass ones) and even more designs I've discovered in magazines, I'm gonna be sure to experiment with these styles in the near future:This silver looks like a foil-sort of nail strip. Looks like I'm gonna have to opt for the more expensive brand, cause Sally has yet to make any metallics like these. I saw this on BleachBlack and I seriously can not wait to rock these!
I actually first saw this style in a magazine a WHILE ago, but still have yet to attempt. Mainly because I want to go for the legit version, not the nail strips with the lace-like pattern. It's said that this can be achieved easily by just pressing lace into semi-wet nail polish. The issue I'm having is that it doesn't seem like cutting lace into the EXACT shape of your nail is going to be any easy feat. Nonetheless, I am determined to achieve this at some point.
I absolutely looooove this modern take on the vintagy half-moon manicure. Instead of just leaving the half-moons in a clear or flesh-tone, she made them a pretty silvery color. I am seriously so in love with this silver and navy blue combo, I think I'm gonna try this style out right after I post this.
OK this may not be nail polish, but would someone PLEASEEEEE tell me where online I can order these? In case you don't know me, I have such a boner for anything that glows in the dark. I simply HAVE to have them for all my summer music festivals. I don't even know what the fuck you call these. These are so much cooler than those attention-whore/douchebags with the gloves at concerts that think they're the absolute shit. I need to know!

Fuck ANYTHING 80s Themed

Are 80s themes anything more than an excuse for girls to wear a an assload of makeup and dress like sluts? Although the girls to the left might beg to differ, I really can't seem to comprehend why else a bunch of people would want to look so retarded all in one place.
A girl wants to dress 80s-themed. So she takes some shitty shirt and cuts the shoulders off of it and then wears her hair in a side ponytail. Oh wait, don't forget the leggings and jean-skirt combo. Are any of those things even 80s? Last time I looked through my Mom's prom pictures, the 80s looked quite different then what people seem to think it is today. But of course, if anyone ACTUALLY wanted to look 80s, then they'd have to sacrifice looking cute. Because the 80s was a hideous decade and should be forgotten forever. I just wish the rest of the country would catch on already.
The more I think about it, the more I think that 80s themes are a trend for ugly and/or fat girls. It's easy to hide your seemingly infinite flaws under layers of neon and spandex. Plus the fact that you get to wear more makeup than an opera singer means that you get to spend a night pretending you're a porcelain doll. A very slutty, scary porcelain doll.
I suppose I shouldn't get so worked up about girls being sluts. I certainly have my moments. But at least when I try to look like I'm asking for it, I do it in a way that guys might actually find attractive. Am I the only one that feels this way????

FML Doesn't Even Come Close...

Although this happened almost a week ago now, I haven't been able to sit down and write about it without becoming so angry that I ended up storming off and either cried or banged my head against the wall.

I borrowed my mother's car last Friday evening because I was going to use it to move a couch from their basement into my apartment in the west loop. Mind you, my parents never let me use their car, ever. This was an occasion among occasions. This may sound unreasonable by a normal person's standards, but my parents don't really cut me much of a break. I pay for pretty much everything on my own, and if I want a car, I need to save up the money from my job and buy one myself. Yeah, yeah, financial responsibility or something like that. I digress.

So since having this car at my disposal was such a momentous occasion, I decided there would be no harm in having a little fun with it instead of returning it home right away. I had the car until about 2am, when I decided I would make the long journey home. I still had to unload the couch from the trunk, so I parked in what I thought was a loading zone and had a friend of mine carry it into the room with me. When I walked back outside, I watched in horror as a tow truck was hauling away with my mother's precious new car. Now, I'm a pretty fast sprinter when I need to be, so I booked it after this truck, and ran along side them for a block or two, waving my hands and begging them to stop. After clearly making eye contact with me, they accelerated and sped off.

When I finally got to the impound lot, I noticed that there was a big, spray painted, "BURN IN HELL, PIGS" on the door leading into the office. Yep, those were pretty much my thoughts exactly. I was informed that I would have to drop two hundo if I wanted my car back. TWO FUCKING HUNDRED DOLLARS. As someone who works pretty much any time she doesn't have class to cover her rent and other expenses, this is a huge burn on my checking account. As if they couldn't have made it any more difficult, they insisted that I pay in cash only. While trying to find a bank that was open at 3am, one of the men working for the towing company told me that he could lend me the cash if I wanted to just write him a check. "Thank god, there are still good people in the world," I thought. Yeah, I might have thanked him too soon.

So I pay the ridiculous fee and get my car home without my parents ever knowing. But sure enough, the guy from the towing company decided that he was going to try calling me and asking me if I would like to go to dinner with him sometime. It's been over a week and he's still texting me asking absurd questions, like whether or not I'm a lesbian. He asked for my license plate number, saying he "decided to see what he can do about refunding my money". He's also asked me if i needed a car for my own, I'm assuming that of which his company obtained from fucking other people over the same way they fucked me. I guess this is karma's way of not letting me forget about what a dumbass I was, but come on. How do you shoot down a guy that has all of your personal information in the records at his skeevy workplace? I'm not really sure how to handle this, but right now I'll top off this story with a big, old fashioned Fuck My Life.